Our relationships in situations of crisis, are one of our main sources of support. They need to be given priority so that people won’t feel isolated. Apart from our relationships with friends and colleagues which need to be nourished, our priority should be our immediate family members namely our parents, siblings, partners, sons and daughters. With more people working from home, we suddenly have more time together, be it partners, roommates or other family members. This may be a blessing, especially for those who usually have relatively healthy relationships and very busy lives. Hence, they crave to spend some time together. However, for families who already had difficulties with their partner or a family member before the current COVID-19 situation, spending more time at home may be tough.
The extraordinary situation we are currently experiencing induces feelings of fear, worry, and anxiety. This is the time when deep down we know that we need our loved ones closest to us to make us feel safe and reassure us that while there is uncertainty around us, we can still count on someone when in need. Therefore, it is very important to prioritize our relationships. Unless there is an issue of safety or the relationship is detrimental to our wellbeing (such as in case of abusive relationships in which case professional help and emergency services are recommended if necessary), we are challenged to stop and reflect on the quality of our interactions with those close to us. Times like these require us to think of others, be more considerate of each other’s needs and to reach out and offer support. Difficult situations also require us to pool-in resources, hence more collaboration. Together there is more chance to adapt to the new circumstances.
- It’s not the time to discuss sensitive issues or huge arguments. As much as possible try to shelf sensitive issues to be discussed at a better time.
- When you need to discuss something important, make sure to start off by explaining how you feel about it, for example: I am very worried about …; or I am scared that… This usually supports your partner to listen to what you have to say and avoid defensiveness.
- Think before you talk: Sensitive issues that usually steer a fight and have been difficult to reach a compromise in the past, might need to be shelfed for the time being. Focus instead on what you have in common to get support.
- Focus on day to day situations such as getting basic needs, such as cleaning, shopping and making sure, if there are young children in the household, that they are well taken care of, and given the attention they need.
- Give space to each other for personal time alone.
- Check in regularly with your partner and ask about his/her feelings.
- Take initiatives to help each other out in chores, errands and offer support.
- Be compassionate and show gratitude when you notice your partner’s efforts.
